Just to get it out of my chest...

I had a dream about you, but in my dream you where slightly different. You where sweet and caring, you where attentive, and of course, you actually cared about what happens to me. Like I said, just a little different. I guess it's not you, no matter how much I want you to be.

My masoquism doesn't appear to know limit, like I have had the opportunity to experience in the past. As it appears, longing for the unobtainable is my mechanism of defense. Of course, that makes sense. When something is easy, I usually don't want it, I get bored easily. I honestly don't know how to make things turn out my way, I've never had to. When it comes to relationships and that sort of things, I've always waited for them to come to me. When they don't, I just move on.

But I don't want to move on, not this time, because I've been thinking about you more often than I should. Ohh, and we both know you don't deserve that. I guess I must forget it since I'm essentially undateable, the kind of girl who's no one's type. I've actually learned to cope with that fact pretty good, it affects me just every once in a while.

¿Why undateable? I'm the "friend", the kind of girl you'd probably talk to when you have problems with you girlfriend or you like someone. I've been pleased with that part for years, I can live like that. I give killer advices that I wouldn't take, but they always work. I'm the kind of girl someone's girlfriend wouldn't be jealous of because they know where I stand, and I could say I'm ok with that. That "undateability" is the basic trait that allows me to have all of those guy-friends. In a sense, I'm glad I'm like this because, as I have stated before, I'm not very good at being friends with girls, too much drama. (Yes, a lot more drama than the one I create. And believe me, that's just too much drama.)

On the other hand, being always the "friend" gets really annoying when my friends tell me they want me to have a boyfriend. Really! They don't notice it. It's funny in a sense, because guys don't really pay attention to that sort of thing. But the point is, I don't really want to be your friend.

Anyway, now that I got it out of my chest, I'll just trow it out there, see what happens, because I've never been able to say things straight forward unless I'm asked.